All We See & Seem (Timber Wolves) Page 5

  “It’s not like that.”

  “How else could it be?” Talley thought she had come to terms with people wanting to use her, but this took things to a whole new level. Maybe it’s because the other guys had never even hinted at the type of intimacy needed to make babies, while Walker was sitting here telling her that making babies was his main goal. He didn’t just want to use her, but her body as well. Somehow, that made it worse. “You just said you want someone to give you a litter of Dominants, and you think I can do that because I’m a Seer.” Not that she believed that Seers gave birth to more dominant Shifters. She grew up in the Hagan Pack where none of the most dominant members had Seer mothers.

  “What? No. I—” Walker raked a hand through his hair. “No, you’re right. I do want to marry a Seer and have a bunch of dominant babies. But that’s not all I want.” His brown eyes met hers and she didn’t have to be touching him to see his sincerity. “I don’t want just any Seer. I want one who is beautiful and smart and funny. I want one who is so nice and good even an asshole like Makya can’t think of a single bad thing to say about her. I want to marry someone I love, and I want to have a whole houseful of kids I can teach how to play baseball and help them with their homework. I don’t want just any Seer, Talley. I want you.”

  A girl at the table next to them laughed at something her friend said, and for a moment Talley felt certain she was laughing at Walker’s declaration.

  He wanted her. He thought she was smart and funny. He thought she was beautiful. It was written all over his face. He really did want this to happen. He wanted to fall in love with her. Talley was surprised to find that part of her wanted that too, which made what she had to do even harder.

  “Walker, I’m sorry—”

  “All I’m asking for is a chance. Just give me some time.”

  “I can’t.” Walker started to respond, but Talley shook her head. “No, listen. Please. I’m sorry. You have to believe me when I say I didn’t have any idea that you… that it was…” She took a deep breath and realized she had lost all the feeling in her left index finger. She slowly unwound her hair from around it, and put her hands in her lap, giving herself a mental lashing for falling back on the old bad habit. “I didn’t know you had feelings.”

  The corner of Walker’s mouth lifted in the saddest smile Talley had ever had the misfortune of witnessing. “Everyone has feelings, Talley.”

  “I know. I didn’t mean…” She caught herself winding yet another lock of hair around her finger. “I came here under false pretenses, and I feel really, really bad about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Was that presumptuous? To assume that telling him she would never date him, let alone become the mother of his children, was going to hurt his feelings? “I mean, not that—”

  “Please stop.”

  Talley could feel the familiar stinging in her eyes and nearly burst into tears at the thought of crying in front of him and making this situation even more awkward. With a few rapid blinks and one good hard swallow she got it under control. “I’m s—”

  “You’re sorry. I know.” His words were rough, but she knew the difference between pain and anger. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be okay.” He was looking at the daisy on the table like he wanted nothing more than to smash the old glass Coke bottle being used as a vase against the wall. “What do you need from me?”

  “I don’t need—”

  He didn’t raise his head, but his eyes cut up towards her. “Don’t. I just want to get this over with and leave. The quicker you tell me what it is you want, the faster I can go home.”

  Talley was pretty sure she’d never felt more like a horrible person in her life. She considered lying and telling him that she just wanted a date with a nice guy but couldn’t consider getting serious with a submissive coyote when she was a Potential, but she knew it wouldn’t work. She was a horrible liar, and couldn’t force herself to attempt it. “I want to know why I can’t See you correctly.”

  A giant gust of air whooshed from Walker’s lungs, taking all his aggression with it. “Because you’re in love with someone else?”

  “What do—? How did—?” Talley’s face burst into flames. “I’m not in love with anyone.”

  “Yeah, you are.” Talley started to deny it, but Walker cut her off. “It’s in the way you look at me. You’re measuring me up against him, and no matter what I do, I’m always going to come up lacking.”

  There was so much blood pooling in Talley’s cheeks her eardrums began to thrum. “I meant ‘See’ with a big ‘S’,” she said, pulling the conversation back onto a track that didn’t lead straight to Jase-Will-Never-Love-Me-Back Town. “When I touch you, your thoughts and emotions are muted. I can’t get a good read off of you. I want - I need - to know how you’re doing it.” She realized how horrible she must seem, asking him to tell her after she had just rejected him. “I know you probably don’t like me much right now—”

  “I’m trying really hard not to. Unfortunately, you’re extremely likable.”

  The blood that had worked its way back to where it belonged surged right back into her cheeks. “I need to know, Walker. If there is a way my friends and family can keep me out of their heads, then I need to know.” It wouldn’t change much, but at least Jase wouldn’t be terrified of her touch anymore. “Please.”

  She thought he was going to refuse, but then a tiny, defeated sigh gave her hope.

  “I don’t know,” he said, chasing all that ridiculous hope away. “My grandmother was… different. I don’t remember her very well because she died when I was ten, but there was always something off about her. My other grandmother, my dad’s mom, says she was a witch.”

  “A witch?” That word evoked some fairly strong emotions in Talley since her best friend was recently accused of being one.

  “Yeah, a witch. Like the kind with spells, not the one you call someone when you really mean ‘hateful bitch’.”

  “Was she?”

  Most people would have looked at her like she was crazy for asking, but then again, most people don’t turn into a coyote under the light of the full moon. “I don’t know. I never saw her do anything witch-like. It wasn’t like there was eye of newt and magic brooms sitting around her house. But she did have a lot of plants. Like, a ridiculous number of plants. They were everywhere. They weren't weird, witchy plants, though. Just the normal stuff. Ivy. Violets. Aloe.” He trailed a finger down a petal of the flower sitting in the middle of their table. “Daisies. She had some herbs and stuff, but all I ever saw her do with them was make me lasagna.”

  “So, she was just an odd lady who liked plants?”

  Walker’s finger trailed down another petal of the daisy. When he got to the end he flaked of the dried out tip. “The thing is, her plants were always healthy. All of them. Even in the middle of the winter.” He looked up to make sure Talley was paying attention. “The weirdest thing to my other grandmother, however, is that she couldn’t See her memories. Anyone else in the world, Grandma Helkamp can touch and See whatever that person’s happiest memory is. It isn’t a fancy Sight, but it’s flawless. Except with Grandma Rushing. At first she thought it was because she didn’t have any happy memories, but anyone who met her knew that wasn’t true. Grandma Rushing loved life. The fact that the sun rose in the east made her happy. But no matter what she did or how many times she tried, Grandma Helkamp couldn’t See a thing.”

  Talley looked at the dead bits of flower on the table and thought about what she knew about Thaumaturgics. When Talley heard the word “witch”, her mind immediately went to the movie Hocus Pocus, but Thaumaturgics had little in common with Sarah Jessica Parker and black-flamed candles. According to all the information she could gather while at the Alpha’s cabin awaiting Scout’s trial, Thaumaturgics were similar to Seers. They were women born with special gifts, and just like with Seers, it was supposed to be one gift per customer. But where Seers could only See a particular something, Thaumaturgics could supposedly manipulate their one
special gift. One of the Omegas claimed he once met one who could control the wind. He said that he had been young when his father had cornered her outside their home in Turkey, but he would never forget the tornado she conjured out of nowhere that leveled their house.

  Talley hadn’t believed him. She hadn’t really believed that Thaumaturgics existed, although she would never admit that to anyone who might get word back to her mother. But if she could believe Walker…

  “I’m sorry to ask, but…” She laid her hand on the table, palm up. Walker looked at it like it was the chemistry homework she was actively avoiding, but placed his own on top of it. Talley hoped the smile she shot him showed all the gratitude she sincerely felt. “So you believe your grandmother was a Thaumaturgic?”

  A spark of confusion. “A Thauma-what?”

  “You don’t know what a Thaumaturgic is?”

  More confusion, and this time it was accompanied by a shot of embarrassment. “Should I?”

  “No, not at all,” Talley said, trying hard to alleviate his discomfort. Maybe it was because she was getting used to Seeing him, or maybe because he was making an effort to be Seen, but Talley was able to catch a little more than just flecks of emotion. For example, she knew that he worried she would think he was uneducated and uncouth because he didn’t know what a Thaumaturgic was, and he thought that lack of knowledge was part of the reason she didn’t want him. “It’s just this urban legend that Shifters and Seers like to spread around. Except, I’m starting to wonder if they’re real.”

  Some of the tension eased slightly out of him. “You think my grandmother might have been one?”

  “It fits what I know about them.” She felt a tiny bit of hope through their connection, so she continued on. “According to legend, they’re women with the ability to control some natural force in the world. Things like the wind or fire or—”

  “Or plants.”

  “Or plants. I’m guessing your mother has the same affinity?”

  Walker’s eyebrows pinched together. “Not really. I mean, she’s got a few things sitting around the house and has some flowerbeds and stuff outside, and it’s not like she’s got a black thumb or anything, but she’s not like my grandmother. Her plants live and grow, but no better than they would for anyone else.”

  This was the problem with trying to find out anything in the supernatural world. There was no Wikipedia site devoted to Thaumaturgics, and a Google search would only uncover a list of definitions and a few role-playing games. There was a library up north somewhere, but it wasn’t exactly like they would let just anyone access the archives, and Talley doubted they would actually hold anything useful if they did. Facts weren’t a concrete thing when dealing with the supernatural, and every time you thought you uncovered one of them, something would come along throw a bunch of confusing muck on top of it.

  “How about your grandmother who is a Seer? Can she See your mother?”

  “She can, but she says its muted, as if her memories are painted with watercolors when everyone else uses acrylics.”

  “And you?”

  “I never thought to ask.”

  Talley pulled her hand out from under Walker’s and leaned back. “Even if your grandmother wasn’t a Thaumaturgic, it makes sense that whatever made her invisible to Seer Helkamp would be passed down to your mom and then you.”

  “But I’m a guy. I thought you said these Thaumaturgics were women.”

  Talley wound a piece of hair around her finger, no longer worried about how uncool her nervous habit might make her look. “Over the last year I’ve learned that you can’t rely on what gender a power is supposed to belong to. Sometimes the strongest powers come in a box you weren’t ever expecting.”

  Walker studied her face for a long moment, and Talley feared that she’d said too much. She trusted Walker and knew he was a good person, but sometimes good people believed in the wrong thing. She was trying to think of a way to cover for the way she’d just stated her belief in Scout without actually renouncing Scout when he said, “You look sad. Is everything okay?”

  Talley tried to smile but knew it wasn’t convincing. “I’m just disappointed.” She hadn’t realized that she’d put so much hope into finding out how Jase could block himself from her until it was taken away.

  Walker’s smile was even less convincing than her own. “I guess that makes two of us.”

  “Walker, I—”

  “It’s okay.” This time his smile was a bit more genuine. “I really think we could have been good together.”

  Talley had to blink a couple of times before she could respond. “We could’ve been great.”

  “I hope he realizes how lucky he is.”

  Talley reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. Not for the first time, she wished her power worked in reverse so he could know the sincerity of her words. “I wish you all the love in the world, Walker of the Helkamp Pack. If there is anything I can ever do for you, just ask.”

  Chapter 7

  Jase Donovan had to be the most unlucky human being on the face of the planet. Not only had he ended up with the hardest Math 109 professor at the university, but the TA who was supposed to explain things to the dumb students had only the most basic understanding of the English language, and Jase had less than a basic understanding of her accent. As a result, he was staring at a page filled with problems that made about as much sense to him as the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, when he caught a familiar scent on the air. Less than a minute later, there was a soft knock on the door.

  Jase rolled his shoulders and counted to five in his head. He didn’t want her to think he’d been sitting here and staring into space waiting for her to get back.

  “Have fun?” he asked, turning around and walking back to his desk the moment he opened the door. Her natural scent was mixed with coffee, donuts, and him.

  Walker Helkamp, the seventeen year old son of Anderson and Jodie Helkamp. A senior at Hayden High School in Winkelman, Arizona. Football player. Honor student. His last girlfriend was a girl named Keyley who sang in the school choir and had an obsession with Sherlock Holmes. On the Shifter dominance scale, he was barely a step up from an Omega.

  Not that Jase had made calls or done any cyber-stalking. It was beneath him, which is why he made another member of the Hagan Pack do it.

  When Talley didn’t immediately answer, he couldn’t stop himself from turning to look at her. It took less than a second for him to decide that Walker Helkamp needed to die, that he would be the one to do it, and that he would never, ever regret that decision.

  “What did he do?” The urge to grab her and pull her to him was beyond distracting. “If he touched you…” What was the word for ripping someone’s guts from their body? Eviscerate? That sounded like a good word. Whatever it was, he would do it to Walker.

  Talley passed him without so much as a glance and dropped herself onto his bed. “Save your righteous anger. He didn’t do anything. Walker Helkamp is a great guy. Smart. Funny.” She swiped at a single tear streaking down her cheek. “He thinks I’m pretty.”

  “He just wants to use you for your position.”

  “No, he really doesn’t.”

  “How do you know?”

  Talley waved her spirit fingers at him. “Magic hands, remember?”

  Jase wasn’t petty enough to feel raging jealousy, so there had to be another name for the emotion burning inside him. He just couldn’t think of what that might be. “If he’s so perfect, why are you sitting in my room crying?”

  “I’m not crying,” Talley said, wiping away another tear. “And I’m in your room to discuss your phone call with Sarvarna.”

  Jase leveled her with a stare. “Talley…”

  “He’s gone, okay? You don’t have to worry about Walker Helkamp anymore, or ever again. He was a nice boy who actually liked me and didn’t care that I was an Alpha Pack Potential, and I used him for information and sent him away.” She plucked a ratty old sock monkey from its perch b
eside his pillow. “He’s not the bad guy,” she told the stuffed animal. “I am.”

  “He’s gone?”

  “Well, we just left the coffee shop a few minutes ago, but he’s leaving. We’ll never see him again.”

  With Talley’s teary-eyedness, Jase figured doing a fist pump and yelling, “Yes!” at the top of his lungs might be a bad idea. Still, he couldn’t stop the “good riddance” from escaping his lips. Talley, however, didn’t respond. Her focus was entirely on the sock monkey in her hands. She looked at it as if she was waiting for him to open his mouth and spill the secrets of the world. Jase knew where her thoughts were before she spoke.

  “Do you think she’s okay?”

  “Of course.” She had to be. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Scout wasn’t okay. He had to believe that everything had gone as planned and at that very moment she was holed up in some undisclosed location with the most kick-ass Shifter Jase ever met. “Liam will take care of her.”

  Talley turned the monkey around so it was facing Jase and moved his head up and down. “Scout can take care of herself,” she said in what Jase could only assume was supposed to be a monkey voice.

  Jase got up and moved over to the bed, sitting as far away from Talley as was possible on a dorm bed. “Where do you think she is right now?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe—”

  “I wasn’t asking you. I was talking to Guido.”

  The sock monkey turned to face him once again. “Bahamas. Sitting on the beach, soaking up the sun, and drinking frozen drinks she’s not legally old enough to imbibe.”

  “Sounds just like my sister. Out there goofing off while the rest of us are working our asses off. She’s such a slacker.”

  Guido tilted his head to one side. “Language, Jase.”

  “Ass.”

  “Jase…”

  “Assy-ass ass-ass.”

  “Stop it,” the monkey commanded.

  “What are ya going to do, Orangutan Butt?”